Tea at the Treedome (transcript)

SpongeBob: (looking at a jellyfish through a telescope) Wow, four stingers. (puts on his glasses as he walks over to the jellyfish, puts on glasses, and walks over to jellyfish. Tries to catch the jellyfish but he catches himself. He hears a noise and goes to check on what it is. Over the cliff is a squirrel fighting with a giant clam) Where have I seen this before? (takes a book out called 'Field Guide' and searches for the squirrel he saw) Here it is! (finds a picture of the squirrel) Land squirrel. That little squirrel is in trouble. Sandy: Take that, you sorry old clam! Y’all need to learn some manners! (after punishing the clam, she walks away) You’re about as ugly as homemade soup. SpongeBob: Hooray, land squirrel! (giant clam jumps back at her and swallows her into its mouth) Look out! (SpongeBob runs down to help the squirrel) Hold on, little squirrel! (yells karate moves while jumping around the clam. Jumps on top of the clam) You have fought well, giant clam. Prepare to be vanquished! (attempts to open clam's mouth but the squirrel is really doing all the work even though he thinks he's really doing it) Hey, I’m actually doing it! (attempts more but as soon as the clam's mouth opens, he jumps off landing his head in a hole but he pulls his head out a few seconds later) Your shell is mine! (pulls pants up like Urkel does and runs back onto the clam's tongue. He sees the squirrel is still in the clam until she closes it) Sandy: Hold on there, little square dude! (goes back to help SpongeBob. She kicks and punches SpongeBob out of the clam. Then she kicks the clam to the other side of Bikini Bottom) SpongeBob: Hey, you like karate, too! (yells some karate moves and then lands upside-down) So, what’s your name? Sandy: Sandy. (yells karate moves as well) What do ya'll call yourself? SpongeBob: (runs up a hill and jumps down) I’m SpongeBob! (lands in the ground on the top left corner of his body) Sandy: Well SpongeBob, take a gander at this. (walks up to a rock and karate chops it with her hand. A few seconds later, the rock explodes into a bunch of pieces) SpongeBob: Oh yeah? Well watch this! (makes noises with his armpit) Sandy: (laughs) I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-ya! (karate chops SpongeBob's head) SpongeBob: Uhh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-ya! (karate chops her helmet but realizes it hurts) Say, what's that thing on your head? Sandy: Why, that’s my air helmet. SpongeBob: May I try it on? Sandy: Heck no. I need it to breathe! I gotta have my air. SpongeBob: Me too! I love air! Air is good. Sandy: No kidding? SpongeBob: Why, air is my middle name! The more air, the better! Can’t get enough of that air. Sandy: She-oot. How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? (gives SpongeBob a map with directions to her treedome) Don’t be late. (walks off) SpongeBob: Okay, see you tomorrow. (runs back home) Patrick! Patrick! (Patrick is laying on his back on top of his rock) Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What’s air? Patrick: Huh? SpongeBob: I just met this girl. She wears a hat full of air. Patrick: Do you mean she puts on airs? SpongeBob: I guess so. Patrick: That’s just fancy talk. If you want to be fancy, hold your pinky up like this. (shows the proper way to hold up your pinky) The higher you hold it, the fancier you are. SpongeBob: (holds pinky up) How’s that? Patrick: Higher! SpongeBob: (holds pinky higher) Like that? Patrick: Now that’s fancy! They should call you SpongeBob Fancypants! (at Sandy's treedome) Patrick: Remember, when in doubt, pinky out. You can do it, SpongeBob. I’ll be watching. (opens the door as SpongeBob walks in with his pinky raised high and flowers in his right hand) SpongeBob: Thanks pal. (Patrick closes the door as SpongeBob walks up to ring the doorbell) Sandy: Hello? SpongeBob: Hiya, Sandy. It’s me, SpongeBob. Sandy: Hold on a sec, I’ll let you in. (red light flashes as SpongeBob begins to whistle.a red light buzzes and SpongeBob whistles. All the way drains out and SpongeBob begins to scream. Sandy opens the door and SpongeBob flops around inside like a fish) SpongeBob: Sandy, something’s gone terribly wrong. There’s no water in... (notices there is no water inside her treedome) ...here. Sandy: Course there’s no water. Nothing but air. SpongeBob: (reaches and smells the air) No water? Sandy: That ain’t a problem, is it? (karate chops air) Hi-ya! SpongeBob: Problem? (laughs as he does a karate chop in air) Hi-ya! That’s how I like my air! (takes a deep breath as Sandy walks off. As soon as she leaves, he lets it all out) With no water. Sandy: Well all right. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! (karate chops air) Hi-ya! (SpongeBob walks a couple steps then stops) That’s not in...in! (SpongeBob walks a couple more steps then stops) You’re a funny little dude. (takes SpongeBob somewhere else) Come on, I’ll give you the grand tour. (sun is shining down on SpongeBob & Sandy) This is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest... (SpongeBob gasps) ...purist... (SpongeBob gasps) ...most airiest air in the whole sea. Oh, over there’s my birdbath. (a red bird is splashing in the birdbath) And that's my oak tree… (SpongeBob tries to sneak away to the birdbath) It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane, that’s a fancy word for plastic. (SpongeBob tries to sneak away to the birdbath again) Ain’t that just the bee’s knee’s? Tell you what, weren’t easy getting here neither. First, I... (As Sandy continues to talk, SpongeBob sneaks away for just enough time to jump in the birdbath. The red bird punches SpongeBob away and yells at him. SpongeBob lands beside Sandy) ...that’s my treadmill. That’s how I stay in tip-top shape. Oh, come on. Let’s have that tea now. (karate chops air a few times then walks off as SpongeBob gasps and Patrick knocks on the treedome getting SpongeBob's attention) Patrick: Pinky! Pinky! (SpongeBob blinks and holds up his pinky mid-way up. Now, he's sitting on a bench still holding his flowers) I brought you some flowers. Sandy: For me? How sweet! (Sandy grabs the flowers but SpongeBob won't let go. Eventually, she gets them off but with SpongeBob's fingers, nonetheless) You okay? SpongeBob: Yes, I’m okay. Sandy: You know, you’re the first sea critter to ever visit. SpongeBob: I can’t imagine why. Sandy: Can I get you anything. SpongeBob: Water would be nice. Sandy: I’m going to put these in a vase. SpongeBob: Take your time. (tries to open the front door) I gotta get out of here! Ahh! Sandy: (in SpongeBob's mind) I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree! (tries again to open front door) Patrick: (in SpongeBob's mind) When in doubt, pinky out. (SpongeBob lifts his pinky) SpongeBob: I don’t need water! Water’s for quitters! (walks back to the table) I don’t need it! I don’t need it! I don’t need it! I don’t need it, I don’t need it! (sits down on the bench) Sandy: Why, these flowers are just beautiful! (puts a vase of flowers and water on the bench) They’ll live much, much longer in a glass of ice, cold water. So tell me about yourself. It must be fascinating being a sea critter. (SpongeBob watches a single drop of water roll down the side of the vase) SpongeBob? (timer goes off) Oh, there’s the cookies. Be right back. (she walks away as SpongeBob is still staring at the vase) SpongeBob: (in his mind) I don’t need it, I don’t need it, I definitely don’t need it. (close-up on SpongeBob's face) I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I need it!! (jumps off the top of the treedome and onto the bench and grabs the vase) Patrick: No, SpongeBob! No, no, no, stop! (holds up his pinky) Pinky! Pinky! (SpongeBob holds up his pinky and starts drinking the vase water) SpongeBob: I’m a quitter! (SpongeBob runs towards the door but Patrick runs inside and closes the door to save SpongeBob) Patrick: You can’t leave now! You’ll blow it! SpongeBob: Air is not good, Patrick! Air is not good! Patrick: (grabs SpongeBob and walks back to the bench) You’re just being shy. Don’t worry, buddy. You’re doing fine. (quickly gets tired of walking) I won’t let you blow this. (coughs a lot) What kind of place is this?! (tries to open the front door with SpongeBob) There’s no water in here! SpongeBob: I tried to tell you! Patrick: We’ve got to get out of here! SpongeBob: You’re doing it wrong! Patrick: Wait, no! We’ve got to get out! (the two pass out as we are shown the sun shining down as Sandy walks up to both of them) Sandy: Come and get it! You’re all gonna like this... (looks down and screams from seeing SpongeBob & Patrick as their real selves. Later, she's filling up helmets for SpongeBob and Patrick with water) There, that ought to do it! If y’all needed water, you should of asked. (SpongeBob & Patrick smile at each other) I propose a toast...to new friends! (Sandy drinks her tea but SpongeBob & Patrick can't because their helmets are in the way) Hold on a second. (puts tea bags inside their helmets) I hope you all like your tea strong. (SpongeBob and Patrick hold their pinkies up as they drink their tea) End